HOW TO GET UNSTUCK AND LOVE LIFE

Faith Hill
6 days ago
5 min read

Feeling stuck in life usually means your values and your daily choices are misaligned. When what matters most to you isn’t reflected in how you live, work or relate to others, motivation drops and frustration increases. This disconnect often shows up as confusion, low energy or self-doubt, even when life looks “fine” from the outside.

Smiling person with a mug, sitting on a chair by a red curtain. Text: "HOW TO GET UNSTUCK and love life." Mood is positive and relaxed.

Why do I feel stuck?

You feel stuck because something in your life or a certain situation is not working for you anymore. Sometime in the past, you chose this something (a job or profession, a location, a friendship circle) and at the time, it did work for you. But you have evolved and it doesn’t feel good for you anymore. Now it is time to make changes so you will stop feeling stuck in a rut.

How to get unstuck

What to do when you feel stuck? An effective life coach technique to stop feeling stuck is to re-assess your life values; what is important to you in the here and now. It is a simple process which gives you a deeper understanding of who you are and what is important to you and provides a roadmap to make you move forward.

Once you become clear on what is important to you and align your choices accordingly, you will feel happier, will take more action, enjoy life more and as a result, stop feeling stuck.

For example, your relationships become more fulfilling because you choose to spend time with people with similar values. Your environment (location or home) becomes more satisfying because you choose surroundings which match your values. Your new or adjusted work becomes more enjoyable because it matches what is important to you.

"Things ‘fall into place’ in your life because you choose to honour your values" Faith Hill, life coach

What are life values?

Life values are the principles that guide your decisions, priorities and sense of meaning. Examples include freedom, security, growth, honesty, connection, and creativity. When your choices align with your values, life feels purposeful; when they don’t, you feel stuck.

Your life values are essentially what is important to you. They guide you in life, affect how you spend your time and help you set goals. They also affect how you interact with people and the world around you.

Values definition: “a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life”.

Your list of values may include:

respect
kindness
freedom
security
diversity
variety
family
integrity
personal space
honesty
oragnisation/tidiness/cleanliness
health or wellbeing
sustainability
design
creativity
loyalty
compassion
spirituality
adventure
professionalism
love
financial security
flexibility
connection
career
religion
contribution
fun or play
knowledge
patience
balance
nature
innovation
gratitude
courage

Be careful not to list the life values you think you ‘should’ say or the life values that your parents’ instilled in you. Go deeper to uncover your own, true, meaningful values. Your values need to be authentic because they motivate you. This is the real key to getting unstuck and knowing yourself better.

What are my life values?

Your life values are what is important to you at this current time.

Step 1

To help you uncover your life values, ask yourself the following questions:

1) What do I often daydream about?

2) What do I really enjoy spending my time on, or who with?

3) What inspires me most?

4) Which memories hold the most happiness for me?

5) Who do I admire, and what are their positive qualities?

6) How do I willingly spend my energy?

7) What do I enjoy spending money on?

8) When do I most feel like myself?

Step 2

Think about what upsets or annoys you. This is called an ‘away from value’… something you want to run away from. Ask yourself what is the opposite of each item on your list to reveal the positive value.

For example, you get annoyed when people eat/speak with their mouth full or don’t say please or thank you; so the value here is manners. Or you get upset if someone mocks your spiritual beliefs or practices, so the value is spirituality.

Step 3

You will have a long list of values now. Now consider everything you have written and see if you can combine any similar ones into a higher value. For example, if ‘telling the truth’ and ‘saying what I really want’ came up, these could be combined into ‘honesty’.

Step 4

Now your list of values is more concise, you can prioritise them. Rate them in terms of importance, number 1 being the most important to you.

Does your prioritised list resonate with you? Make any necessary tweaks.

This final list is now your guide as you review the areas of your life.

Your values WILL change over time; in three months, next year, in five years. So I recommend doing a life values audit regularly.

How to align with your values

If one area of your life is making you feel stuck the most, start there. Evaluate what it is in that area that is not aligned with your list of values. If you are feeling stuck in life in general, take time to look at all areas.

For example:

If health or wellness are a high value but you eat poorly or do not exercise, what will you change?
If professionalism is important to you but you work for (or with) unprofessional people, it’s time to look for a new job.
If kindness or compassion are important to you but a friend is consistently mean, rude or unsupportive, could you spend less time with them and more time with people who are kind and compassionate?
If family is a high value for you, but you don’t see your family often or live far away, how can you make more effort or move closer?
If work life balance is important to yet but you often end up working overtime, what is in control to change this?
It is rare that every area of your life will ever meet all of your values. However, you can get closer to what is important to you in each area of life by making small yet effective changes. Every change matters.

Can coaching help when I feel stuck?

Life coaching helps by creating clarity around values, beliefs and goals. A coach supports you in identifying what’s holding you back and taking aligned, intentional action forward.